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Albuquerque, NM. April 1, 2000:
Hollywood may have the 'Oscar'
Awards, but Albuquerque now has its own star-studded awards gala, that offers
even more juicy scandal and shame than Hollywood could ever dish up. On April
1, the SouthWest Organizing Project hosted the third annual 'IRBie Awards'
to celebrate the companies and decision makers whose outstanding portrayal
of actual human beings have won the pocketbooks of fans all over New Mexico.
A complete breakdown of the awards is featured on the SWOP website at www.swop.net.
"This year's recipients' greed and corruption are even more naked than I was at the Grammies! " said hostess Jennifer Lopez. Adorned in a dress of dental floss and bottle caps, Lopez shocked the audience by ditching long-time beau Sean "Puffy" Combs, for her would be co-host, New Mexico's own Gary "Puff Daddy" Johnson. However, Johnson was only able to attend via the Internet, as he was home in bed with a bad case of the munchies.
Top prize, IRBie of the Year, went to Sun Healthcare Group, for their performance in "American Bankruptcy", the dark comedy about a company that offered 1000 new jobs in exchange for City tax breaks in 1997, but then turned around to offer only layoffs and a hiring freeze in 1999. Audiences were moved to tears by the company's tragic ending in Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.
"I was honored by this award, and I thought the whole ceremony was fabulous. Believe me, I will still be laughing all the way to the bank," said Sun Healthcare's President, who received the award.
Albuquerque's own Development Commission was on hand to receive First Runner-Up, for the sleeper hit, "Sick Sense." In this tale, a young development commission is haunted by visions of its own lack of consistency. Instead of sticking by their own policy of not offering tax breaks that could hurt local competitors, the commission approved a $6.8 million Industrial Revenue Bond (IRB)* to Albuquerque Tortilla Company in 1999, arguing that the company needed it since Bueno Foods has also received city IRBs in the past. Who could ever forget the commission's chilling line?... "I see bread people."
Second Runner-Up went to Fulcrum Direct for their run away 1998 hit, "Austin Powers 3 -- The Fulcrum that Shagged Me." After obtaining four IRBs, totaling $11.9 million in 1995 and 1996, the company shut its doors in 1998. Fulcrum Direct's CEO was on hand to receive the award, "Thanks to City of Rio Rancho, our story was a 'run away hit'-we hit you up for tax breaks, and then we ran away!"
A joint Third Runner-Up was given to the City of Albuquerque, Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, and Bosque Prep, for their "Bosque House Rules," a heart-wrenching story of poor starving private school students who needed $4 million in public money for a new building. "I'll vouch for this one," quipped co-host Johnson.
Finally, Sumitomo Sitex garnered Honorable Mention with "Any Given Sumitomo," a behind-the-scenes look at the game that Sumitomo Sitex is playing with Albuquerque's largest corporate welfare package ever. After receiving a $67 Million IRB in 1997, the company reported to the City of Albuquerque in 1999, "No new positions were created...Sumitomo's only hiring activity was to replace existing positions."
The SouthWest Organizing Project calls on all our elected officials to develop policies that allow more public participation in the process of designing IRBs, and that objectively evaluate the relative costs and benefits of individual IRBs throughout their course.
*Industrial Revenue Bonds (IRBs) are tax abatement packages that local governments can offer to companies ostensibly to encourage economic development in New Mexico.
